You Might Be a Redneck If...
 

...your raincoat was made by hefty.

Everyone contributes! Try to be original or just use your favorite.

I love these!
 

If the unity candle at your wedding can repel misquitos, you might be a redneck. ;)

You might be a redneck if you think a quarter horse is a kiddie ride in front of Wal Mart...:laugh:

Good one, Pokie!
 

If washing the dishes requires calling the dog, you might be a redneck. ;)

I don't know any redneck jokes, but I once played a country song backwards on my record player. I got my wife back, my dog back, my house back.........

If you have 5 singing fish in one room



I have 12 fish and 40 hamsters

You just might be a redneck if you put two single wides together to get a double wide!:laugh:

You might be a redneck if you go to a family reunion to look for a wife.

Time for my special rednecks jokes!
 

If you've ever been caught practicing quickdraw on watch, you might be a military redneck.

Note: Playing with your weapon is a serous no no in the military.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle:clap:

You might be a redneck if you can get a dog hair out of your belly button!!! What about it dog lovers???:laugh:

You might be a redneck if You actually know which kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.

I think only Border Collie lovers have that problem.:D The more distinguishing dogs have better sense than to leave dog hair in their owners belly button!!!

Better watch out there Tbelle, from what I can gather several members on this forum have border collies! You should look into getting one. They might put that poor ole kuvasz to shame though! LOL:laugh:

My comment was only directed at Isaac. I would never offend any other Border Collie owner 'cept him. He's earned it well. Now the Kuvasz would physically tear up a Border Collie. Mentally the Border collie is supposedly according to the unscientific survey smarter than the Kuvasz. (I refuse to give in to the survey and give Isaac satisfaction. Wouldn't want him to get the fat head, would we?)

We actually had a Border Collie for a while. Someone dumped one off at our house. She was a sweet girl, even got knocked up by Blitz behind our back, but we found her a great home. She just wanted to herd the horses way too much!

Tbelle, trust me on this one. You NEED a Pug. Nuf said.... :D :D :D

fer what? I don't want snot blown everywhere in my house. Rosie's shedding everywhere as it is. I've got the Yorkie alarm system backed up by the Kuvasz weapon of destruction with the German Shepherd back up plan. What's a pug going to bring to the table?

You might be a Redneck if you live in east Texas and own eight dogs and a small horses and a old school bus buried in the back yard for a bunker :rotflol: :rotflol: :rotflol: :rotflol: and use bleach in strange ways :laugh:

You might be a redneck if....

You think the law have given you a free ticket to shoot anyone at anytime you think your safety is in danger anywhere on your property.

We haven't buried a school bus yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You might be a redneck if hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.

BS I actually thought for a minute there you were gonna lighten up and tell a joke! Guess the joke was on me!:rolleyes:

Yea me too, Pokie
 

If you've ever arrived for lunch an hour early to avoid the long line...you might be a military redneck.

I SWEAR this actually happens in the military.

You might be a redneck if your junior-senior prom had a day care center.

:laugh: I heard you might be a red neck if you graduated jounior high the same year as your youngest kid

Welcome to the board Pattyann :clap: I hope you enjoy your stay :D
Now you might be Redneck if you like this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfNpk2Bt0OM

Mrs. Piemaker would you please check your private messages ;)

It IS a joke, the problem is some folks don't realize it.

It sounded rather provocative to me. If you're the only one who can laugh at it, then it's not a joke.

If you've ever saddled a jet engine, you might be a military redneck. :D

Or the satire could simply be above the heads of those who don't find it funny....

Ouch, comprehending all of that gives me a headache. I'd hate to be the genealogist for that family.

Don't flatter yourself. If that were above my head, for one, it wouldn't have seemed so provocative.

Or maybe you just choose to see it as provocative rather than a level of humor you don't get.

Surely you aren't so arrogant as to believe that if you don't find something funny, no one else in the world will either? Even I'M not that arrogant, and I'm pretty damn arrogant.:laugh:

Of course not. I'm merely speaking for myself. It wasn't over my head in the least, but I also didn't find it amusing and apparently neither did Pokie. Anywho, let's gather some more laughs.

If you've ever been launched from a aircraft carrier without an aircraft, you might be a military redneck. :D

There is no problem realizing what you are all about. I think even you know that. Mr. Heartless computer guy trolling the net nostop. Lighten up and try to be fun or stick to your political debate or legal debate with Joepole :rolleyes:

No not above my head just felt this belonged on the gun toting thread! It would be nice to see you show some real humor if you have it in you and not make it a personal attack on someone! Chill out, dude!:D

Ok Brain if you are so funny and have a sense of humor give us your best joke...come on...do it...dare ya!

Ok, this one time, this guy challenged me to "beat him up" on a public forum. So I provided my phone number so we could set up a time and meeting place.

Well suddenly he's not so brave anymore. NOW he wants me to call HIM, so I call, we "chat", and settle on a date. 5pm 5/7/07 Betty Virginia Park. I hang up, content that we've reached an agreement.

So about 5 hours later I log on to the forum and I read that said individual is here telling everyone I threatened his family and is obviously having second thoughts about about our meeting because one of my X girlfriends went missing 6 months after we broke up, so naturally, I was the prime suspect.

Anyway, I call him back and ask if he intends to keep our appointment to which he replies "I don't think so"....


I'm telling ya, I never laughed so hard in my LIFE!!!

You might be a Redneck if........
 

If your computers cost more than your trailer :laugh:

You might be a redneck if you named your son Blue ,after your favorite hound dog.
I loved the video:clap:

If you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose, you might be a redneck. :D