| AnimeSpirit |
04-19-2007 11:52 PM |
Somewhat clean jokes!
It must be fun to be a sniper! :D
Quote:
A man was on his way to work one morning when he came upon a sniper on a bridge about a mile from his house. He pulls his car over and immediately begins a conversation with the sniper. After about 20 minutes pass he asks how much a hit is, the sniper replies $1000 a shot, he then asks if he could see if he could see his house from there. Gingerly the sniper hands him the gun and the man looks directly into his bedroom window, in there he spots his wife and his neighbour. "That little slut," he mumbles aloud then turns to the sniper and asked if he'd mind taking 2 shots, the first shot to blow his neighbor's penis off and the second to hit his wife in the mouth so that she couldn't ***** anymore. Happily the sniper agrees and takes aim. 2 minutes pass and he hadn't shot yet and the man was growing impatient so he asked what was taking him so long. The sniper turned around and replied, "I'm trying to save you $1000 dollars."
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I like this one! ;)
Quote:
A man had suspected his wife of cheating on him. He gets so suspicious that he hires a Private I. to find out what's going on. He hires P.I. Foh Yoo, a Chinese man with a very good reputation.
Two weeks pass and the Private I. returns with a report. It reads:
- You leave house
- He come to house
- He and she leave house
- I follow he and she
- He and she go downtown
- He and she go in hotel
- I climb tree with binoculars
- He kiss she
- She kiss he
- He undress she
- She undress he
- He play with she
- She play with he
- I play with me
- I fall out of tree
- No see, no fee
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No offense to you blonds out there. :angel:
Quote:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbor. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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