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-   The Happy Home (http://www.shreveport.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=183)
-   -   so i'm waiting (http://www.shreveport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=248)

Bob 09-07-2006 09:38 PM

so i'm waiting
 
O.k., I've been watching this group closely. Desperately hoping to see some clue as to what's the SECRET TO A HAPPY HOME is ? :-)

I got plenty of questions for this disfunctional family I got runnin' around here! But I ain't gonna be the first to ask :)

Bob.

momrules 09-08-2006 10:36 PM

I never said that I know the secret to a Happy Home. That is what this group is about - how to achieve a happy home. I don't think there is "a secret" to a happy home, or else everyone would do that one thing and be happy. Life is much more complex and less boring than that. Your post made me laugh. If there is a single thing that makes a happy home, it is laughter. Please share your ideas or questions for a happy home.

For every post with an idea of how to maintain a happy home, I will do the same. For example, the next time you come home, ask your family “how was your day?” You might be surprised by the answers and post them here!!

Isabella 09-08-2006 10:46 PM

A home without alcohol use, drug use, and profanity will produce a happy home. Parents who set a good example for their children by always being truthful, considerate to others, respect the laws and people of authority, listening to their children, and being an involved parent are ingredients to a happy home.

momrules 09-09-2006 12:01 AM

All true Isabella. When it comes down to a happy home, I would also include "love". A loved child is generally a happy child. If a child does not love him or herself, a child cannot be happy.

scarlett 09-15-2006 10:10 AM

The secret to a happy home............. put God first in your lives but understand there is no perfect home. having a happy home takes work and of course sometimes things happen that are out of our control. ex: divorce, money problems etc. All we can do is all work together in a family to try and keep it running smooth but in a perfect world we all know how that goes.

From my point of view most households are disfunctional heh to some degree.

trkshot8 09-15-2006 10:12 AM

I agree
 
Disfunction is what allows us to realize when thing are going right. Just try to build on that.

LateNight 09-15-2006 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scarlett
From my point of view most households are disfunctional heh to some degree.

I'll drink to that !

MattyMattyChooChoo 10-10-2006 02:28 PM

I find that I am happier when I am not watching TV or posting on forums.

kansast 10-10-2006 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyMattyChooChoo
I find that I am happier when I am not watching TV or posting on forums.

Well.. I suppose it's hard to really argue with that. Certainly more fun things to be doing out there than watchin' the idiot box or playin' on the computer.

However, watch the idiot box with friends.. or post on website with 'friends' and it makes for a better experience. :)

scarlett 10-10-2006 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyMattyChooChoo
I find that I am happier when I am not watching TV or posting on forums.

But you posted on here? :rolleyes:

Isaac-Saxxon 10-10-2006 03:21 PM

Hello Kansas T
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kansast
Well.. I suppose it's hard to really argue with that. Certainly more fun things to be doing out there than watchin' the idiot box or playin' on the computer.

However, watch the idiot box with friends.. or post on website with 'friends' and it makes for a better experience. :)

I would agree with what you said. This world has computers and tvs and
can be a good thing.

I would like to know something. Is your line from the Far Side ?

"Up stairs the band was playin' and the singer was singin' somethin' 'bout going home"

kansast 10-10-2006 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isaac-Saxxon
I would agree with what you said. This world has computers and tvs and
can be a good thing.

I would like to know something. Is your line from the Far Side ?

"Up stairs the band was playin' and the singer was singin' somethin' 'bout going home"

Up stairs the band was playin' and the singer was singin' somethin' about going home.. LOL well the guy singin' something about going home, would probably be "Southside Johnny" of Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes singing "I don't wanna go home" a song written by Bruce Springsteen.. the line "upstairs the band was playin...." is from a Bruce Springsteen song called "Incident On 57th Street"

Now you know the 'rest of the story' :)

Al Swearengen 10-10-2006 07:27 PM

Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.

Rough Rider 10-10-2006 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.

Well, I suppose plenty of them don't start out that way. And obviously some are more dysfunctional than others :rolleyes:

momrules 10-10-2006 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.

Nobody consciously chooses a dysfunctional family. But a person may choose to live in a dysfunctional family and become part of that dysfunction. Our choices are often affected by our parents choices, and how we were raised. Therefore it is very important that parents be good role models for our children.

Al Swearengen 10-10-2006 10:05 PM

Well, ok, nothing is EVER 100% under our control...but consider this...if you've been married more than once (many of us have, including myself), you've probably come to the conclusion that you KNEW your ex was a bad choice from the getgo, but you married him/her anyway. This was my own personal experience..I settled, for one reason or another. But what if you had delayed engaging in an intimate relationship and having children until you knew in your heart of hearts that you had found the right person for you? The kind of marriage that only death could end. So, there you are, married to your soulmate, and you and said soulmate have children. Those children will grow up in a home with two parents that love each other, so they'll be well-adjusted. Sounds like the makings of a functional fam to me. The alternative is, you get married for all the wrong reasons, have children, get divorced, now your kids have problems, and both parents most likely re-marry and end up in blended families (which we all KNOW are problematic even under the best of circumstances).

geodood 10-10-2006 10:14 PM

A dysfunctional home is one that has run out of fresh roasted coffee.....
A Happy Home is one with lots of Japanese Maples in the yard.....

:D

momrules 10-10-2006 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Well, ok, nothing is EVER 100% under our control...but consider this...if you've been married more than once (many of us have, including myself), you've probably come to the conclusion that you KNEW your ex was a bad choice from the getgo, but you married him/her anyway. This was my own personal experience..I settled, for one reason or another. But what if you had delayed engaging in an intimate relationship and having children until you knew in your heart of hearts that you had found the right person for you? The kind of marriage that only death could end. So, there you are, married to your soulmate, and you and said soulmate have children. Those children will grow up in a home with two parents that love each other, so they'll be well-adjusted. Sounds like the makings of a functional fam to me. The alternative is, you get married for all the wrong reasons, have children, get divorced, now your kids have problems, and both parents most likely re-marry and end up in blended families (which we all KNOW are problematic even under the best of circumstances).

What you seem to be describing is the "Cameron Syndrome" as described by Ferris Bueller. ;) Ferris feared that Cameron would marry the first girl who he had an intimate relationship with because she would be the "end all of human existence". Sadly is seems rare when a young couple gets married for the right reasons, because what we may shop for in a person often changes between 18 and 30 years of age. There is nothing quite like having children to change one’s perspective on relationships and life in general.

Al Swearengen 10-10-2006 11:02 PM

Momrules:
Quote:

What you seem to be describing is the "Cameron Syndrome" as described by Ferris Bueller
I didn't know they had a name for it..I thought it was just called "keep your pants on and grow up a little before you take those vows and start propogating the species..."

momrules 10-10-2006 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
I didn't know they had a name for it..I thought it was just called "keep your pants on and grow up a little before you take those vows and start propogating the species..."

You got it. But Ferris says it in a way that is so pointed. Plus, he is so cute! :p

Isaac-Saxxon 10-11-2006 07:02 AM

Never to late to try
 
I have been married for 23 years with three daughters that have there
problems but over all are good kids. I have found that keeping "Christ"
in our conversation and reading the Bible works great. It is work to keep
the family on right path. The Word is like Manna you must keep going to
it and read it to have all the blessings from God. I took my vows to my
wife in a Christian ceremony and I pray every day for my children and
my wife (soul mate) and we have ruff times but still going strong and
the children still doing the same. Religion and church are not the same
as reading the Word and praying. This is free and works great !
God Bless
Isaac-Saxxon

Isaac-Saxxon 10-11-2006 07:46 AM

Now I know the facts :-)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kansast
Up stairs the band was playin' and the singer was singin' somethin' about going home.. LOL well the guy singin' something about going home, would probably be "Southside Johnny" of Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes singing "I don't wanna go home" a song written by Bruce Springsteen.. the line "upstairs the band was playin...." is from a Bruce Springsteen song called "Incident On 57th Street"

Now you know the 'rest of the story' :)

Telling us a little bit about how old you are there KT. The "Boss" went
down by the river ... Outside of politics we dont here from Bruce much
I guess he has not released any new music ? Still sounds like a line from
a Far Side joke ?
Thanks Isaac-Saxxon

kansast 10-11-2006 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isaac-Saxxon
Telling us a little bit about how old you are there KT. The "Boss" went
down by the river ... Outside of politics we dont here from Bruce much
I guess he has not released any new music ?

Well, you would be seriously mistaken there. Springsteen was about the only artist to release an album as a direct response to 9-11 with the "The Rising", and sold out shows across the globe and here in the states, then released a solo Album a couple of years later "Devils and Dust" followed by a world tour. And most recently released an incredibly re-working of classic folk music, and opened that tour up at the New Orleans Jazz Fest, with an absolutely incredible show.

Am I gettin' old.. yea :-) is Bruce gettin' old, yea he is. If you haven't heard anything from Bruce in awhile, it's because of the sad state of affairs that is current Radio in this town and across the country. Same can be said for many successful artists, who still put out albums and still tour to sell out crowds, but be damned if you EVER hear them on the radio anymore.

Cadenza 10-21-2006 01:10 PM

functional/dysfuctional families
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by momrules
Nobody consciously chooses a dysfunctional family. But a person may choose to live in a dysfunctional family and become part of that dysfunction. Our choices are often affected by our parents choices, and how we were raised. Therefore it is very important that parents be good role models for our children.

In my case my very functional family of origin was the reason I stayed in a dysfunctional marriage for almost 20 years. I believed that if I just put enough love and effort into it, it would eventually work. I aspired to a wonderful marriage like my parents and grandparents modeled to me and I didn't think divorce was an option. So I stubbornly kept trying to make things work all by myself. Now I would advise any friend to run don't walk away from a spouse who is an addict or cheats. They can recover, but it is rare and usually it only gets worse. Then you find yourself getting out of a much bigger disaster at 50 when you should have started over at 30. To be trite, it takes two to tango and you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

And better late than never! Sometimes it is hard to do it all, but I was doing it all anyway. Now I am happy and doing it all. The end of my long marriage was the beginning of a much more fulfilling life. Some things just aren't worth saving.


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