Pie, what a colorful childhood you've led! I wouldn't have faired very well at all in many of the situations you had to deal with...especially the frogs!
A fond memory I have is going up to Lake Darbonne in the summertime and my Daddy would swim in the lake with us and come out from under the pier or pontoon boat (you never quite knew where) as a Moss Monster! He would be covered in moss and mud and you never were sure where he was under that dark murky water. My daddy was and still is quite a cut up!