Buddy you are like a anomaly of sorts. I have to thank you for playing the part you do in life it helps people see what IT is they really believe and just how disgusting a human can be.
I think it is the case that you are trying to prove there is no God more than anything but you have had to drink from the cup of evil dregs and it has smashed your brain. Maybe some kind of exorcism would help you. It was that pit of filth that you like so much that is in
your brain like a bad worm
Isaac