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Old 07-17-2007, 11:25 AM   #1
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Another Poem!

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[quote][The Super Bowl Fan


A guy named Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.

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About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man says no.

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?"

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The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967."

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"

"No," the man replies,

"they're all at the funeral."
/QUOTE]

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Old 07-17-2007, 07:12 PM   #2
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An IQ Quiz

Genius quiz
See how smart you are! HaHa!



Take the Quiz to determine if you are a Genius:

Scoring:
14 - 15 = Genius
11 - 13 = Above Normal
7 - 10 = Normal
4 - 6 = Need some help
0 - 3 = How did you find this WEB page?




1. Do they have a fourth of July in England?

2. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried?

3. How many members of each animal did Moses take on the ark?

4. Some months have 31 days, how many months have 28 days?

5. How far can a dog walk into the woods?

6. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?

7. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins?

8. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?

9. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof , will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side?

10. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?

11. In baseball, how many outs are there in an inning?

12. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10, what is the answer?

13. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?

14. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 8 drop down and die, how many are left standing?

15. How many two cent stamps are in a dozen?



Here are the Answers






1. Do they have a fourth of July in England?
Answer: Yes - Every July has a fourth no matter where you are.

2. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried?
Answer: You don't bury survivors

3. How many members of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: The correct answer is none because MOSES didn't do the ark thing, Noah did!

4. Some months have 31 days, how many months have 28 days?
Answer: 12 - ALL months have at least 28 days

5. How far can a dog walk into the woods?
Answer: Half way, then he is walking out of the woods

6. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?
Answer: The camp must be at the north pole, therefore the bear is white

7. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins?
Answer: one fifty cent piece and one nickel (one is not a nickel but the other one is)

8. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?
Answer: Nothing, a coin could not be dated BC.

9. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof , will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side?
Answer: Roosters don't lay eggs, hens do.

10. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?
Answer: The outside.

11. In baseball, how many outs are there in an inning?
Answer: Six - an inning has two parts where EACH TEAM gets THREE outs for a total of 6 outs per inning.

12. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10, what is the answer?
Answer: 70. 30 divided by 1/2 is the same as 30 multiplied by 2. So 60 plus 10 is 70

13. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
Answer: 2. YOU take away 2, how many do YOU have? That would be two.

14. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 8 drop down and die, how many are left standing?
Answer: 8 All but 8 drop dead so 8 are left standing.

15. How many two cent stamps are in a dozen?
Answer: 12. A dozen is 12 so there are 12 stamps in a dozen.
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:57 PM   #3
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The Secret to a Long Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful and loving couple." A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

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Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on a pack mule.

We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘that's once.’



We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That's twice.’

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We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule dead.

I started an angry protest over her treatment of the mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That's once.’

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And we lived happily ever after
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