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Old 09-06-2007, 01:11 PM   #31
rhertz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joepole View Post
The hilarious thing is I have shaved my head a couple of times in my life and when I did I looked EXACTLY like Private Pyle.
Joepole's creed:

This is my pole. There are many like it but this one is mine. My pole is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my pole is useless. Without my pole I am useless. I must fire my pole true......
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Old 09-06-2007, 01:18 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhertz View Post
Joepole's creed:

This is my pole. There are many like it but this one is mine. My pole is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my pole is useless. Without my pole I am useless. I must fire my pole true......
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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Old 09-06-2007, 05:20 PM   #33
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I'm sure most of you have seen this before...........

Recently, a popular womens magazine polled its readership and asked "What do you want in a man?" They then organized the results and published the common themes based on age groups, and here's what they found.
Women in their early 20s:
  1. Handsome
  2. Charming
  3. Financially successful
  4. A caring listener
  5. Witty
  6. In good shape
  7. Dresses with style
  8. Appreciates finer thing
  9. Full of thoughtful surprises
  10. An imaginative, romantic lover
Women in their early 30s:
  1. Nice looking
  2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
  3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
  4. Listens more than talks
  5. Laughs at my jokes
  6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
  7. Owns at least one tie
  8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
  9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
  10. Seeks romance at least once a week
Women in their early 40s:
  1. Not too ugly
  2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
  3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
  4. Nods head when I'm talking
  5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
  6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
  7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
  8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
  9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
  10. Shaves most weekends
Women in their early 50s:
  1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
  2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
  3. Doesn't borrow money too often
  4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
  5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
  6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
  7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
  8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
  9. Remembers your name on occasion
  10. Shaves some weekends
Women in their early 60s:
  1. Doesn't scare small children
  2. Remembers where bathroom is
  3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
  4. Only snores lightly when asleep
  5. Remembers why he's laughing
  6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
  7. Usually wears some clothes
  8. Likes soft foods
  9. Remembers where he left his teeth
  10. Remembers that it's the weekend
Women in their early 70s:
  1. Breathing
  2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
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Old 09-06-2007, 05:48 PM   #34
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Sure is nice to have their SS and pension when the old fart is down on his knees.
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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Old 09-07-2007, 12:12 AM   #35
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[quote=Isaac-Saxxon;20849]Men Are Just Happier People


One mood all the time.


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Old 09-07-2007, 05:35 AM   #36
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[quote=Pocahontas;20891]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaac-Saxxon View Post
Men Are Just Happier People


One mood all the time.


That is right Pokie one mood all the time not like females on their hormonal elevator ride. Never know which floor they are on
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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Old 09-07-2007, 01:54 PM   #37
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Men have as many moods as we do and believe me I KNOW!!
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Old 09-07-2007, 04:04 PM   #38
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Nice to see you back, Scarlett! That reminds me of an old joke about the various stages of the female lifecycle.

1. To grow up.
2. To fill out.
3. To slim down.
4. To hell with it.

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Old 09-07-2007, 07:11 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joepole View Post
The hilarious thing is I have shaved my head a couple of times in my life and when I did I looked EXACTLY like Private Pyle.
I think I'd keep that quiet!
Name:  FullMetalJacket5.jpg
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Old 09-07-2007, 08:58 PM   #40
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Yeah, but she sure can cook!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you


Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Spoken:]
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
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Old 09-07-2007, 10:59 PM   #41
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What are the four stages of a man's life?
1. Believing in Santa Claus.
2. Not believing in Santa Claus.
3. Getting to play Santa Claus.
4. Looking like Santa Claus!
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:26 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by howela View Post
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you


Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Spoken:]
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Sure maybe some truth to that
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:30 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasbelle View Post
What are the four stages of a man's life?
1. Believing in Santa Claus.
2. Not believing in Santa Claus.
3. Getting to play Santa Claus.
4. Looking like Santa Claus!
One stage of the female life is : my habit first mama and then daddy and then sugar daddy. Feed me Seymour Oh and her motto enough is never enough
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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Old 09-08-2007, 11:50 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarlett View Post
Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
LOL, great post Scarlett. I'm approaching 50 and I went out and bought one of those battery powered nose and ear hair trimmer gadgets. What will they think of next? Wow, its like sticking a weed eater up my nose! Makes my eyes water just thinking about it.

Being metro sure has its moments.... You girls with your eyebrow tweezers got it easy.
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Old 09-08-2007, 06:18 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by rhertz View Post
LOL, great post Scarlett. I'm approaching 50 and I went out and bought one of those battery powered nose and ear hair trimmer gadgets. What will they think of next? Wow, its like sticking a weed eater up my nose! Makes my eyes water just thinking about it.

Being metro sure has its moments.... You girls with your eyebrow tweezers got it easy.
those same tweezers can be used on wild neck hairs and mustache hairs too. Ain't that right Belle
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Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
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