so i'm waiting

[Cadenza]

Originally Posted by momrules

Nobody consciously chooses a dysfunctional family. But a person may choose to live in a dysfunctional family and become part of that dysfunction. Our choices are often affected by our parents choices, and how we were raised. Therefore it is very important that parents be good role models for our children.

In my case my very functional family of origin was the reason I stayed in a dysfunctional marriage for almost 20 years. I believed that if I just put enough love and effort into it, it would eventually work. I aspired to a wonderful marriage like my parents and grandparents modeled to me and I didn't think divorce was an option. So I stubbornly kept trying to make things work all by myself. Now I would advise any friend to run don't walk away from a spouse who is an addict or cheats. They can recover, but it is rare and usually it only gets worse. Then you find yourself getting out of a much bigger disaster at 50 when you should have started over at 30. To be trite, it takes two to tango and you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

And better late than never! Sometimes it is hard to do it all, but I was doing it all anyway. Now I am happy and doing it all. The end of my long marriage was the beginning of a much more fulfilling life. Some things just aren't worth saving.