Your Thoughts

piemaker720 · 06-03-2007, 09:58 PM

I was watching Oprah on tv friday. They had this family on, a man, his wife, her mother and father. They were talking about a car acciodent they had 2 years ago in which a drunk driver hit their limo head on. They were all in the limo along with their 4 children. One of the children was killed and the limo driver. Now my gripe. The people were talking about when the one child died that ended their life in whole, all 4 adults. They have trouble making it through the day, they can't have family functions, they can't stand to celebrate Christmas or easter because this child is no longer here. Well what some selfish A**Holes. I understand they lost a child and they grieve for her, BUT THEY HAVE 3 OTHER CHILDREN left. What has these other children got to look forward to? It's been 2 years! Git up and live for your other kids. Why should their life have to end because their sister is gone? Can you imagine what these other children live through with their father, mother and grandparents acting this way. I'm glad I was not in the audience, cause I would have had to get up and slap the stupid out of them.

LateNight · 06-04-2007, 12:33 AM

well, I suppose you bring up some valid points.. But I'm pretty sure, as far as parents go, there aren't too many things harder to get over, than the death of a child.

Everyone will grieve differently. I'm not sure how old all these kids are. I suppose it's possible some of them, if young enough, may get to a point they don't remember their dead sibling. But as far as the parents go.. the death of a young child.. often times, the marriage won't even survive such a trauma. Probably because the two parents are grieving differently.

My older brother passed away a couple of years ago.. you say they've had two years to "get over it" well for me, two years ago seems like yesterday, and it seems like a lifetime ago..

But as you say.. "for the children" they need to try and move on.. either they will or they won't, either way, the whole experience will shape them all for years to come.

But I don't believe your answer of "slapping the stupid out of them" would make much difference.

Texasbelle · 06-04-2007, 06:06 AM

Very well said Latenight. I haven't suffered the loss of a sibling but I have lost both my parents in a five year period. It seems like just yesterday they were both here but yet it has been five years since my father died and nine months since my mom. Two years probably is nothing when suffering the loss of a child. I do think for the sake of the other children the best thing a parent could do is try and get back to some kind of a normal sooner rather than later. We are all equipped differently though and these folks just might not be able. Also, are they getting some help? I am sure that Oprah with her generous heart will ensure they do.

piemaker720 · 06-04-2007, 09:03 AM

Like I said, I understand That they lost a child and is grieving. I also know 2 years is not very long. But Like I said they have 3 other children that ranged in age from 2 to 8. For the parents and grand-parents to say they could not have anymore family functios or celebrate anymore holidays because of the loss of the one child. I still say they have 3 other children, that seems to be missing out on alot. To me it seems as they are saying the one child was more important than the others. I'm not saying not to grieve but try to come together as a family, start living, give the rest of the kids a life. Start showing them they are important and are precious and loved.

AnimeSpirit · 06-04-2007, 10:43 AM

The whole point of mourning for the deceased to remember them. Mourning is suppose to be a very brief state and it is unhealthy to be in this state long. I'm sure the death of a child is very hard to get over and I'm sure it takes time, but let's look at the child's point of view.

If you were that child and you died in that accident, would you want the rest of your family, in essense, to die with you? Would you want all of the living, joy, and happiness that you knew in life to come to an end because you're no longer around? Would you want your family to wither into a dark brooding depression that would eventually be their ending? Simplest of all, would you want to be the deceased child to look down from above and never again see smiles or hear laughter?

Since the early days of man, we have always believed that the dead deserve whatever it takes to let them rest in peace. Lacking the proper emotional fortitude and ability to rise above the sadness and say good bye to the dearly departed only robs them of their peace. Remembrance with a tear, but having the strength to smile...this is the key to mourning in peace.

piemaker720 · 06-04-2007, 02:04 PM

You are so true. You can mourn for years over the loss of a child, but it doesn't mean the other children have to mourn or miss out on life because of it. Every child should be able to live life to the fulliest. The live ones are just important as the one that no longer lives. They should not be made to suffer along with the adults.

06-03-2007, 09:58 PM	#1
piemaker720 SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,584 Rep Power: 249	Your Thoughts I was watching Oprah on tv friday. They had this family on, a man, his wife, her mother and father. They were talking about a car acciodent they had 2 years ago in which a drunk driver hit their limo head on. They were all in the limo along with their 4 children. One of the children was killed and the limo driver. Now my gripe. The people were talking about when the one child died that ended their life in whole, all 4 adults. They have trouble making it through the day, they can't have family functions, they can't stand to celebrate Christmas or easter because this child is no longer here. Well what some selfish A**Holes. I understand they lost a child and they grieve for her, BUT THEY HAVE 3 OTHER CHILDREN left. What has these other children got to look forward to? It's been 2 years! Git up and live for your other kids. Why should their life have to end because their sister is gone? Can you imagine what these other children live through with their father, mother and grandparents acting this way. I'm glad I was not in the audience, cause I would have had to get up and slap the stupid out of them.

06-04-2007, 06:06 AM	#3
Texasbelle SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: In the woods Posts: 1,819 Rep Power: 265	Very well said Latenight. I haven't suffered the loss of a sibling but I have lost both my parents in a five year period. It seems like just yesterday they were both here but yet it has been five years since my father died and nine months since my mom. Two years probably is nothing when suffering the loss of a child. I do think for the sake of the other children the best thing a parent could do is try and get back to some kind of a normal sooner rather than later. We are all equipped differently though and these folks just might not be able. Also, are they getting some help? I am sure that Oprah with her generous heart will ensure they do. __________________ One shoe can change your life! Cinderella

06-04-2007, 10:43 AM	#5
AnimeSpirit SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Nowhere Age: 41 Posts: 1,659 Rep Power: 261	The whole point of mourning for the deceased to remember them. Mourning is suppose to be a very brief state and it is unhealthy to be in this state long. I'm sure the death of a child is very hard to get over and I'm sure it takes time, but let's look at the child's point of view. If you were that child and you died in that accident, would you want the rest of your family, in essense, to die with you? Would you want all of the living, joy, and happiness that you knew in life to come to an end because you're no longer around? Would you want your family to wither into a dark brooding depression that would eventually be their ending? Simplest of all, would you want to be the deceased child to look down from above and never again see smiles or hear laughter? Since the early days of man, we have always believed that the dead deserve whatever it takes to let them rest in peace. Lacking the proper emotional fortitude and ability to rise above the sadness and say good bye to the dearly departed only robs them of their peace. Remembrance with a tear, but having the strength to smile...this is the key to mourning in peace. __________________ Confuscious says~

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06-04-2007, 12:33 AM	#2
LateNight SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,609 Rep Power: 268	well, I suppose you bring up some valid points.. But I'm pretty sure, as far as parents go, there aren't too many things harder to get over, than the death of a child. Everyone will grieve differently. I'm not sure how old all these kids are. I suppose it's possible some of them, if young enough, may get to a point they don't remember their dead sibling. But as far as the parents go.. the death of a young child.. often times, the marriage won't even survive such a trauma. Probably because the two parents are grieving differently. My older brother passed away a couple of years ago.. you say they've had two years to "get over it" well for me, two years ago seems like yesterday, and it seems like a lifetime ago.. But as you say.. "for the children" they need to try and move on.. either they will or they won't, either way, the whole experience will shape them all for years to come. But I don't believe your answer of "slapping the stupid out of them" would make much difference.

06-04-2007, 09:03 AM	#4
piemaker720 SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,584 Rep Power: 249	Like I said, I understand That they lost a child and is grieving. I also know 2 years is not very long. But Like I said they have 3 other children that ranged in age from 2 to 8. For the parents and grand-parents to say they could not have anymore family functios or celebrate anymore holidays because of the loss of the one child. I still say they have 3 other children, that seems to be missing out on alot. To me it seems as they are saying the one child was more important than the others. I'm not saying not to grieve but try to come together as a family, start living, give the rest of the kids a life. Start showing them they are important and are precious and loved.

06-04-2007, 02:04 PM	#6
piemaker720 SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,584 Rep Power: 249	You are so true. You can mourn for years over the loss of a child, but it doesn't mean the other children have to mourn or miss out on life because of it. Every child should be able to live life to the fulliest. The live ones are just important as the one that no longer lives. They should not be made to suffer along with the adults.

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