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Old 05-03-2007, 09:15 AM   #16
joepole
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Why has everyone immediately discounted the possibility that his daughter is, in fact, a total *****?
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:18 AM   #17
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I think your choice of word to describe her is a quite harsh. I do think that at this point though there is a good chance that she has probably become quite "coached" by her mother and her behavior is probably a direction reflection of 1: trying to please her mother 2: believing everything she has probably heard her mother say about her father.

It's the nature of the beast in the divorce cases such as these and it leaves the father in a horrible place.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:25 AM   #18
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If I were a bettin' man I'd put big money on the idea of all three people being completely horrible.

Alec Baldwin is an excellent actor. He is also, by far, the best SNL host ever. Beyond that, however, everything I hear or read about him indicates he's not much of a human being. Kim Basinger isn't even a good actress. L.A. Confidential was an excellent film, but she was, at best, mediocre. How did she win an Oscar for that? I don't know much about her personal life other than the fact that she once found Alec Baldwin desirable enough to marry and thought he was worthy of having children, so I'd wager she's not exactly mother of the year, either.

Put those two personalities in a genetic blender and you're bound to produce a crappy kid, especially if it gets raised by those two.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:52 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by joepole
If I were a bettin' man I'd put big money on the idea of all three people being completely horrible.

Alec Baldwin is an excellent actor. He is also, by far, the best SNL host ever. Beyond that, however, everything I hear or read about him indicates he's not much of a human being. Kim Basinger isn't even a good actress. L.A. Confidential was an excellent film, but she was, at best, mediocre. How did she win an Oscar for that? I don't know much about her personal life other than the fact that she once found Alec Baldwin desirable enough to marry and thought he was worthy of having children, so I'd wager she's not exactly mother of the year, either.

Put those two personalities in a genetic blender and you're bound to produce a crappy kid, especially if it gets raised by those two.
Kim Basingers best roll was in last dance with Mary Jane
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Old 05-03-2007, 11:30 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasbelle
I do want to answer Brain's question about discipline. I don't really have to spank at my house. I have had to when my two oldest were younger but it wasn't often and was never a beating.
Alec's daughter is 11. Still young enough for spanking to be effective, except, she doesn't live with her Dad.
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Discipline is just as Sheba says it should involve teaching. There should be a consequence to the negative behavior and also a good. With my twelve year old discipline often just simply involves a conversation and he gets it immediately.
If I understand the situation correctly, the daughter wasn't there to receive a planned phone call from her father. Now I don't claim to know the circumstances surrounding her missed appointment, but how is Alec to have a conversation with his if he can't even get in touch with her AND his ex may be a large contributing factor in the problem just like she is in your life.
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He's just that kind of child. My eighteen year old has to lose the car, lose the cell phone, and be threatened with the death penalty before he learns. He's that kind of child. Their sister kind of falls more in the middle. We give a consequence to the negative and then reward them with an "Atta boy or girl" when they've done what we've asked. They are never 'bought' which is a problem I often see in homes today. Now for my step son there is no discipline. He can even come here and do something and there is no discipline. You can say something to him, but he doesn't care because at the end of the day he'll just be going home. He's smashed literally a $1,500 laptop we gave him for Christmas. His mother knew and helped hide the fact until we pressed really hard about the whereabouts of the laptop. Finally he told me what he did to it but has yet to apologize to his father, he was never disciplined by his mother and to me it happened at her house she should be the one, and he truly sees nothing wrong with what he did. It's hard at best to discipline a child who has two homes. It could be done though under good circumstances.

The key to disciplining your children is a calm head and logic.
So basically you've done nothing to this child for destroying a $1,500 computer?

You know there is a difference between spanking a child and whipping his ass. Maybe you guys should consider trying the latter......because despite your best intentions, what the child IS learning is that there aren't any significant consequences at Dad's house for anything he does. Consequently, I bet his behavior has gotten progressively worse, right? Started with breaking curfew, maybe talking back, now we're destroying $1,500 computers with no obvious signs of remorse or even an apology.
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Old 05-03-2007, 12:55 PM   #21
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And this Baldwin thing surprises people? C'mon, that family is not "normal" and therefore how can you expect rational behavior. Children of divorce have issues...yes children can be well adjusted from divorced families but often there is a lot of baggage that's being carried. Then factor in the parents who sometimes are more childish than the kids!
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Old 05-03-2007, 01:17 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by sassy1
And this Baldwin thing surprises people? C'mon, that family is not "normal" and therefore how can you expect rational behavior. Children of divorce have issues...yes children can be well adjusted from divorced families but often there is a lot of baggage that's being carried. Then factor in the parents who sometimes are more childish than the kids!
Sometimes ?? It is the parents that came first then the child and the parents owe it to there child to place the child first not their own personal gain. Money, power, fame and divorce It is called the American step family and it is passing it on to the next generation. I am not against divorce if it needs to be it needs to be but the parents at that point have even more responsibility for their child's well being. That starts with no mind games as Kim and Alec using the child as the pawn
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Old 05-03-2007, 08:55 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Isaac-Saxxon
Sometimes ?? It is the parents that came first then the child and the parents owe it to there child to place the child first not their own personal gain. Money, power, fame and divorce It is called the American step family and it is passing it on to the next generation. I am not against divorce if it needs to be it needs to be but the parents at that point have even more responsibility for their child's well being. That starts with no mind games as Kim and Alec using the child as the pawn
There are situations where divorce is your only option. As in when a husband abuses a spouse, or say a husband cheats on a wife then certainly the wife has no option but to divorce. The responsibility for the children who has divorced parents becomes far greater at this point to ensure their mental and physical well being. To give them a great balance it does take both of the parents totally laying aside their differences and giving their best efforts at raising the children even though you are doing it with two different homes. It can be done but more often than not the parents forget, as in our case, to put the children first. My step son is the victim of one parent carrying the anger torch forever and letting it stand in the way of her son's well being. Also her mental baggage has now become his baggage and demons as well. Brain, he is not my child, I don't get the option of disciplining him. He would already have a sore butt that he would not be able to sit on for years for destroying a computer. This is one of the problems here that we face and probably Alec Baldwin as well. Discipline the child and all hell breaks lose with the other parent. The other parent does not agree with any kind of discipline so if you try to then your phone calls go unanswered for weeks on end. See how it goes?

This woman's logic Brain goes like this...she told me one time a few years ago that he was talking back to her. I told her that when my children talked back to me I put Tabasco on their tongues and made them hold it out for a minute. It only took my daughter one time to learn not to talk back, the middle child twice, and the youngest has never after watching the oldest two take the punishment. She called this "corporal punishment", stated she didn't believe in that kind of punishment, and her son better not ever be punished that way by me or ELSE! Well, he's never talked back to me because he knows better for one and I've told him I am not scared of the or ELSE.

I tell you all of this Brain because you need to understand or I'd like you to know what some of these people like Alec and my husband have to go through with the other parent and why perhaps they do lose their temper. Again, I make no excuses for him he was wrong, but I do understand his frustration.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:17 PM   #24
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The one thing I would like to know is why have they been battling over custody for 5 years. Good grief settle it. I agree at 12 she shouldn't be call a *****.
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:34 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasbelle
There are situations where divorce is your only option. As in when a husband abuses a spouse, or say a husband cheats on a wife then certainly the wife has no option but to divorce. The responsibility for the children who has divorced parents becomes far greater at this point to ensure their mental and physical well being. To give them a great balance it does take both of the parents totally laying aside their differences and giving their best efforts at raising the children even though you are doing it with two different homes. It can be done but more often than not the parents forget, as in our case, to put the children first. My step son is the victim of one parent carrying the anger torch forever and letting it stand in the way of her son's well being. Also her mental baggage has now become his baggage and demons as well. Brain, he is not my child, I don't get the option of disciplining him. He would already have a sore butt that he would not be able to sit on for years for destroying a computer. This is one of the problems here that we face and probably Alec Baldwin as well. Discipline the child and all hell breaks lose with the other parent. The other parent does not agree with any kind of discipline so if you try to then your phone calls go unanswered for weeks on end. See how it goes?
Well that's really something you and your husband should discuss. I can only assume a $1500 gift came from both of you, and if you're expected to provide for the child then the child should be expected to obey you, or MADE to obey you as the case may be.

Quote:
This woman's logic Brain goes like this...she told me one time a few years ago that he was talking back to her. I told her that when my children talked back to me I put Tabasco on their tongues and made them hold it out for a minute. It only took my daughter one time to learn not to talk back, the middle child twice, and the youngest has never after watching the oldest two take the punishment. She called this "corporal punishment", stated she didn't believe in that kind of punishment, and her son better not ever be punished that way by me or ELSE! Well, he's never talked back to me because he knows better for one and I've told him I am not scared of the or ELSE.
Again, that's between you and her. If you are expected to provide for the child then he should be expected to obey you regardless of you being his biological or step mother.
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I tell you all of this Brain because you need to understand or I'd like you to know what some of these people like Alec and my husband have to go through with the other parent and why perhaps they do lose their temper. Again, I make no excuses for him he was wrong, but I do understand his frustration.
Ummm, I think you've misinterpreted my opinion of the matter. I got the asswhipping, the talking to, AND grounded. Alec's kid got of light and I'm ashamed that this story passes for news....
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Old 05-03-2007, 09:44 PM   #26
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Oh, Brain you should know me well enough by now to know I have dealt with the little brat!!! He's had to wash his Daddy's truck every weekend he has been over and we have a very large yard that requires a lot of raking! I have found my ways to punish him. City boys don't like to rake and perform hard labor! These are not the ways I really want to do the discipline and not the ways I would do it if one of mine had ruined a computer but then again mine would never do such. My birth children have better respect for the things given to them than to do such.

Furthermore, when I have issues with the mom I go straight to the source. I believe the best way to deal with a matter regarding the boy is straightforward and like an adult in a calm, cool manner. The only problem is getting met half way.

I know you don't see it as newsworthy but personally I would like to see some good come from it. I would like attention brought to the issues that fathers like my husband face so that perhaps positive change can come for them.
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Old 05-03-2007, 10:02 PM   #27
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Way to go Belle. That is so true
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Old 05-04-2007, 07:02 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texasbelle
Oh, Brain you should know me well enough by now to know I have dealt with the little brat!!! He's had to wash his Daddy's truck every weekend he has been over and we have a very large yard that requires a lot of raking! I have found my ways to punish him. City boys don't like to rake and perform hard labor! These are not the ways I really want to do the discipline and not the ways I would do it if one of mine had ruined a computer but then again mine would never do such. My birth children have better respect for the things given to them than to do such.
Well from my very limited glimpse into this drama, it sounds like you guys are stuck in a vicious cycle. You buy him something nice for Christmas, he tears it up because he's mad at you guys because he's punished every time he comes over and made to wash the truck or rake the yard because of something he's done before.

Now I am NOT telling you how to raise your children, but a belt instills fear, not anger. Therefore it is vastly more affective at quelling problems with problematic children than washing the truck.

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Furthermore, when I have issues with the mom I go straight to the source. I believe the best way to deal with a matter regarding the boy is straightforward and like an adult in a calm, cool manner. The only problem is getting met half way.
Never been there, but I understand what you are saying....
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I know you don't see it as newsworthy but personally I would like to see some good come from it. I would like attention brought to the issues that fathers like my husband face so that perhaps positive change can come for them.
Maybe, but it should at least be billed as entertainment, not headline news. This should be on ET, not CNN.
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Old 05-04-2007, 07:51 AM   #29
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Note previous posts and their length...just my point lots of baggage and lots of issues.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:25 AM   #30
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Note previous posts and their length...just my point lots of baggage and lots of issues.
Long posts don't equate with lots of issues and baggage. Maybe it's a long story and a long discussion?????????????????? Yes, this one child of divorce has baggage and issues but that doesn't mean every child of divorce does. Furthermore lots of children can come from a home where they are raised by both parents, Godly parents, a great home and still have massive issues, become drug addicts,etc. Please don't place all the children and parents of divorce in a box.
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