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Old 09-07-2006, 09:38 PM   #1
Bob
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so i'm waiting

O.k., I've been watching this group closely. Desperately hoping to see some clue as to what's the SECRET TO A HAPPY HOME is ? :-)

I got plenty of questions for this disfunctional family I got runnin' around here! But I ain't gonna be the first to ask

Bob.
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Old 09-08-2006, 10:36 PM   #2
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I never said that I know the secret to a Happy Home. That is what this group is about - how to achieve a happy home. I don't think there is "a secret" to a happy home, or else everyone would do that one thing and be happy. Life is much more complex and less boring than that. Your post made me laugh. If there is a single thing that makes a happy home, it is laughter. Please share your ideas or questions for a happy home.

For every post with an idea of how to maintain a happy home, I will do the same. For example, the next time you come home, ask your family “how was your day?” You might be surprised by the answers and post them here!!
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Old 09-08-2006, 10:46 PM   #3
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A home without alcohol use, drug use, and profanity will produce a happy home. Parents who set a good example for their children by always being truthful, considerate to others, respect the laws and people of authority, listening to their children, and being an involved parent are ingredients to a happy home.
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Old 09-09-2006, 12:01 AM   #4
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All true Isabella. When it comes down to a happy home, I would also include "love". A loved child is generally a happy child. If a child does not love him or herself, a child cannot be happy.
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:10 AM   #5
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The secret to a happy home............. put God first in your lives but understand there is no perfect home. having a happy home takes work and of course sometimes things happen that are out of our control. ex: divorce, money problems etc. All we can do is all work together in a family to try and keep it running smooth but in a perfect world we all know how that goes.

From my point of view most households are disfunctional heh to some degree.
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Old 09-15-2006, 10:12 AM   #6
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I agree

Disfunction is what allows us to realize when thing are going right. Just try to build on that.
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Old 09-15-2006, 11:06 AM   #7
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From my point of view most households are disfunctional heh to some degree.
I'll drink to that !
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Old 10-10-2006, 07:27 PM   #8
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Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.
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Old 10-10-2006, 09:06 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.
Well, I suppose plenty of them don't start out that way. And obviously some are more dysfunctional than others
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Old 10-10-2006, 09:50 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Maybe the answer is to NOT get a dysfunctional family in the first place.
Nobody consciously chooses a dysfunctional family. But a person may choose to live in a dysfunctional family and become part of that dysfunction. Our choices are often affected by our parents choices, and how we were raised. Therefore it is very important that parents be good role models for our children.
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Old 10-10-2006, 10:05 PM   #11
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Well, ok, nothing is EVER 100% under our control...but consider this...if you've been married more than once (many of us have, including myself), you've probably come to the conclusion that you KNEW your ex was a bad choice from the getgo, but you married him/her anyway. This was my own personal experience..I settled, for one reason or another. But what if you had delayed engaging in an intimate relationship and having children until you knew in your heart of hearts that you had found the right person for you? The kind of marriage that only death could end. So, there you are, married to your soulmate, and you and said soulmate have children. Those children will grow up in a home with two parents that love each other, so they'll be well-adjusted. Sounds like the makings of a functional fam to me. The alternative is, you get married for all the wrong reasons, have children, get divorced, now your kids have problems, and both parents most likely re-marry and end up in blended families (which we all KNOW are problematic even under the best of circumstances).
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Old 10-10-2006, 10:14 PM   #12
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A dysfunctional home is one that has run out of fresh roasted coffee.....
A Happy Home is one with lots of Japanese Maples in the yard.....

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Old 10-10-2006, 10:27 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Swearengen
Well, ok, nothing is EVER 100% under our control...but consider this...if you've been married more than once (many of us have, including myself), you've probably come to the conclusion that you KNEW your ex was a bad choice from the getgo, but you married him/her anyway. This was my own personal experience..I settled, for one reason or another. But what if you had delayed engaging in an intimate relationship and having children until you knew in your heart of hearts that you had found the right person for you? The kind of marriage that only death could end. So, there you are, married to your soulmate, and you and said soulmate have children. Those children will grow up in a home with two parents that love each other, so they'll be well-adjusted. Sounds like the makings of a functional fam to me. The alternative is, you get married for all the wrong reasons, have children, get divorced, now your kids have problems, and both parents most likely re-marry and end up in blended families (which we all KNOW are problematic even under the best of circumstances).
What you seem to be describing is the "Cameron Syndrome" as described by Ferris Bueller. Ferris feared that Cameron would marry the first girl who he had an intimate relationship with because she would be the "end all of human existence". Sadly is seems rare when a young couple gets married for the right reasons, because what we may shop for in a person often changes between 18 and 30 years of age. There is nothing quite like having children to change one’s perspective on relationships and life in general.
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:02 PM   #14
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What you seem to be describing is the "Cameron Syndrome" as described by Ferris Bueller
I didn't know they had a name for it..I thought it was just called "keep your pants on and grow up a little before you take those vows and start propogating the species..."
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Old 10-21-2006, 01:10 PM   #15
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functional/dysfuctional families

Quote:
Originally Posted by momrules
Nobody consciously chooses a dysfunctional family. But a person may choose to live in a dysfunctional family and become part of that dysfunction. Our choices are often affected by our parents choices, and how we were raised. Therefore it is very important that parents be good role models for our children.
In my case my very functional family of origin was the reason I stayed in a dysfunctional marriage for almost 20 years. I believed that if I just put enough love and effort into it, it would eventually work. I aspired to a wonderful marriage like my parents and grandparents modeled to me and I didn't think divorce was an option. So I stubbornly kept trying to make things work all by myself. Now I would advise any friend to run don't walk away from a spouse who is an addict or cheats. They can recover, but it is rare and usually it only gets worse. Then you find yourself getting out of a much bigger disaster at 50 when you should have started over at 30. To be trite, it takes two to tango and you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

And better late than never! Sometimes it is hard to do it all, but I was doing it all anyway. Now I am happy and doing it all. The end of my long marriage was the beginning of a much more fulfilling life. Some things just aren't worth saving.
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