Go Back   Shreveport.com > SBLive! Groups > Shreveport Happy Hour!

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-19-2007, 02:59 PM   #1
LSU
Member
 
LSU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 76
Rep Power: 0 LSU is a jewel in the rough LSU is a jewel in the rough LSU is a jewel in the rough LSU is a jewel in the rough
Something to Offend Everyone

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

How do you know a Chinese person broke into your house?
Your dog is missing and your homework is done.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
HAD TO SAY IT TWICE, DIDN'T YOU ?!?!?!?

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****....

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides..
LSU is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2007, 08:59 PM   #2
piemaker720
SBLive! Veteran
 
piemaker720's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,584
Rep Power: 177 piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold piemaker720 is a splendid one to behold
Very good!
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.-- Bill Cosby
piemaker720 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:42 PM.


Design By: Miner Skinz.com
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.7.2
Copyright 2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
2008 Shreveport.com