A nasty phone call from Alec Baldwin

[BrainSmashR]

Originally Posted by Sheba

Yep! We toasted him here on the forum before - still agree that he needs some serious parenting classes.

Yep, because people who verbally scolds their children instead of beating the crap out of them need psycho therapy, right?

Let me ask you people that have children a question. Exactly how do YOU discipline your own children if you consider scolding them to be over the top? Note I DID NOT ask how you teach them right from wrong, I asked how you discipline them.

BTW, keep in mind that you can spank or ground a child that doesn't live with you.....I've yet to see a 10 mile belt.

[Sheba]

There is a balance between extremes, BS. You can spank without "beating the crap" out of a child. You can scold without using words that are abusive. The point of discipline is teaching a child not to repeat a behavior. Punishment should fit the crime.

An example - if my 11 year old son leave his dirty laundry on the floor repeatedly, he has to do all the laundry for a week. That's discipline - and teaching a skill at the same time.

No spanking or scolding involved. He's more responsible and has laundry skills, too.

[BrainSmashR]

Originally Posted by Sheba

There is a balance between extremes, BS. You can spank without "beating the crap" out of a child. You can scold without using words that are abusive. The point of discipline is teaching a child not to repeat a behavior. Punishment should fit the crime.

An example - if my 11 year old son leave his dirty laundry on the floor repeatedly, he has to do all the laundry for a week. That's discipline - and teaching a skill at the same time.

No spanking or scolding involved. He's more responsible and has laundry skills, too.

You can't spank a child that doesn't live with you, period. How are you going to get your hands on them?

BTW, if your son lived with his dad (like Alec's daughter lives with her Mom) how would you make him to do laundry for a week? Would the child only be punished when visiting you? Yeah, that's going to improve the relationship with your near teen son dramatically, right?

Edit:
And what if your son tells you no, he's not going to do the laundry for a week? All we know is that Alec's daughter missed an appointment, not if it was accidental or intentional....

[Isaac-Saxxon]

when a child is old enough to understand and not after they go through puberty. Discipline is consistency and consistency is discipline. I was blessed with three good kids I play the bad cop and my wife plays the good cop. Very few spankings were needed not to say they did not get in trouble but I would choose a good talking to with out cursing but still in their face and then take away the things they like to do. Hard love means caring enough to make a stand every time they step out of line and that takes much work on the parents part. I would not know what to do with a child that is a young adult that never understood the rules to start with. I guess a child therapist
would be next ?? not sure on that one. Alec is not one of my favorite people so any comment on him would be bias from me. I am sure Kim has her problems too.

[Texasbelle]

Well I can say that we face the Alec Baldwin problem in our house on a daily basis. I have a step son who's mother does not ever has never in 12 years EVER adhered to the court ordered custody arrangement. She has never supported his father's right to a relationship with his son unless it is on her terms. She has interferred, manipulated, and done everything imaginable at every opportunity she can. This is a professional woman (think medical degree) with a history that would make all of your heads spin if I laid it all out for you. In the twelve years of this I can honestly say we have tried it all in order to be a part of this child's life. Her home is a "no rules" house, totally free spirit. Our home has rules, my children are disciplines when needed (not physically), must take baths, they do go to church, they must do homework, they must treat others with respect, they are not allowed to watch just anything on TV, etc. I think you might get the idea here. So present day, he hates being here, he's been taught to hate being here because we have rules and he just can't come and go at the age of 16 and do as he pleases. His mother will lie about his whereabouts, his current use of illegal drugs, the grades on his report card, etc.

I am saying all of this because I understand after having watched my husband endure all of this with his child how a parent can truly get pushed to a breaking point. Now Alec Baldwin went absolutely way too far with his language to his daughter and should never have spoken to her in the manner he did. I do feel for him though. Divorce is hard enough on a child but when one parent is interferring with the rights and relationship of the other parent it can be devastating and extremely frustrating. Yes, you can always turn to the court system, but have you tried that lately? It is a ridiculous. My step son's mother was in drug rehab (and it wasn't her first trip through) at one point and in our custody and we were ordered to still continue to pay her child support AND to turn custody back over to her as soon as she left rehab. Go figure that. Battling in court with the other parents often does more harm to the child than good because one parent will often take it out on the child in all sorts of various forms.

I say all of this because I would like for you all to try and be somewhat understanding of Alec's situation. He's not in an easy place and probably has just gotten to the point after years of the battle where he's at his wits end. Let's hope that he gets help for the anger which is what he needs and gets resolution to the custody/visitation problem for the sake of the child.

[LateNight]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

Well I can say that we face the Alec Baldwin problem in our house on a daily basis. I have a step son who's mother does not ever has never in 12 years EVER adhered to the court ordered custody arrangement. <SNIP>

I say all of this because I would like for you all to try and be somewhat understanding of Alec's situation. He's not in an easy place and probably has just gotten to the point after years of the battle where he's at his wits end. Let's hope that he gets help for the anger which is what he needs and gets resolution to the custody/visitation problem for the sake of the child.

Tbelle brings up some interesting points. Personally when I first heard this bit of news and heard the recording.. I immediately said 'Baldwin' was a freaking maniac... PERIOD.

And as easy a going person as I am.. as mild mannered as I usually am.. God forbid, the media should get ahold of some of my RANTS that I've gone on with.. in my almost 20 years of marriage and the raising of my now two teenage sons. I imagine there's been a time or two I've been drivin' to the point of sounding like a mad man. and I would argue there's probabably a few of us around here who could say the same..

With that in mind.. I'll still say Baldwin sounded like a freaking mad man and a lunatic.. but I sure the heck don't know the REST OF THE STORY..

[Texasbelle]

I do want to answer Brain's question about discipline. I don't really have to spank at my house. I have had to when my two oldest were younger but it wasn't often and was never a beating. Discipline is just as Sheba says it should involve teaching. There should be a consequence to the negative behavior and also a good. With my twelve year old discipline often just simply involves a conversation and he gets it immediately. He's just that kind of child. My eighteen year old has to lose the car, lose the cell phone, and be threatened with the death penalty before he learns. He's that kind of child. Their sister kind of falls more in the middle. We give a consequence to the negative and then reward them with an "Atta boy or girl" when they've done what we've asked. They are never 'bought' which is a problem I often see in homes today. Now for my step son there is no discipline. He can even come here and do something and there is no discipline. You can say something to him, but he doesn't care because at the end of the day he'll just be going home. He's smashed literally a $1,500 laptop we gave him for Christmas. His mother knew and helped hide the fact until we pressed really hard about the whereabouts of the laptop. Finally he told me what he did to it but has yet to apologize to his father, he was never disciplined by his mother and to me it happened at her house she should be the one, and he truly sees nothing wrong with what he did. It's hard at best to discipline a child who has two homes. It could be done though under good circumstances.

The key to disciplining your children is a calm head and logic.