A nasty phone call from Alec Baldwin

[LateNight]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

Well I can say that we face the Alec Baldwin problem in our house on a daily basis. I have a step son who's mother does not ever has never in 12 years EVER adhered to the court ordered custody arrangement. <SNIP>

I say all of this because I would like for you all to try and be somewhat understanding of Alec's situation. He's not in an easy place and probably has just gotten to the point after years of the battle where he's at his wits end. Let's hope that he gets help for the anger which is what he needs and gets resolution to the custody/visitation problem for the sake of the child.

Tbelle brings up some interesting points. Personally when I first heard this bit of news and heard the recording.. I immediately said 'Baldwin' was a freaking maniac... PERIOD.

And as easy a going person as I am.. as mild mannered as I usually am.. God forbid, the media should get ahold of some of my RANTS that I've gone on with.. in my almost 20 years of marriage and the raising of my now two teenage sons. I imagine there's been a time or two I've been drivin' to the point of sounding like a mad man. and I would argue there's probabably a few of us around here who could say the same..

With that in mind.. I'll still say Baldwin sounded like a freaking mad man and a lunatic.. but I sure the heck don't know the REST OF THE STORY..

[Texasbelle]

I do want to answer Brain's question about discipline. I don't really have to spank at my house. I have had to when my two oldest were younger but it wasn't often and was never a beating. Discipline is just as Sheba says it should involve teaching. There should be a consequence to the negative behavior and also a good. With my twelve year old discipline often just simply involves a conversation and he gets it immediately. He's just that kind of child. My eighteen year old has to lose the car, lose the cell phone, and be threatened with the death penalty before he learns. He's that kind of child. Their sister kind of falls more in the middle. We give a consequence to the negative and then reward them with an "Atta boy or girl" when they've done what we've asked. They are never 'bought' which is a problem I often see in homes today. Now for my step son there is no discipline. He can even come here and do something and there is no discipline. You can say something to him, but he doesn't care because at the end of the day he'll just be going home. He's smashed literally a $1,500 laptop we gave him for Christmas. His mother knew and helped hide the fact until we pressed really hard about the whereabouts of the laptop. Finally he told me what he did to it but has yet to apologize to his father, he was never disciplined by his mother and to me it happened at her house she should be the one, and he truly sees nothing wrong with what he did. It's hard at best to discipline a child who has two homes. It could be done though under good circumstances.

The key to disciplining your children is a calm head and logic.

[sassy1]

I agree with East Tbelle on the calm headed approach. Can't qoute her b\c it would take the enitre page. Wow...East Tx, you must have a lot of time on your hands...not one for brevity - huh? I will say that children up to a centain age are incapable of logical thinking...that's just part of normal develpoment!

[LateNight]

LOL yes Tbelle you are correct again.. I have two teenage boys, different as night and day. The younger one, has ALWAYS seemed to "get it". If I ever had to get onto him about something, he's very quick with the "yes sir" and that he "understands". The older one however, was always quick with the "yea but, yea but blah blah blah"

[Texasbelle]

Latenight, I don't know about yours but my oldest son will argue just for the sake of arguing. He's the biggest challenge in the house. The horses are not even as stubborn as he is! You have to beat him, figuratively of course, over the head with a brick to get him to understand anything. He is 18 right now and thinks he knows it all which is his greatest problem. I am looking forward to the day that he really begins to lighten up a little.

[Isaac-Saxxon]

Originally Posted by LateNight

LOL yes Tbelle you are correct again.. I have two teenage boys, different as night and day. The younger one, has ALWAYS seemed to "get it". If I ever had to get onto him about something, he's very quick with the "yes sir" and that he "understands". The older one however, was always quick with the "yea but, yea but blah blah blah"

I never have had to deal with boys. I have close friends that do and I could see where they want to kick against the pricks. My wife thinks if we would have had boys I would have been to hard on them I will never know at this point but a son is a son till he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter all her life they will come see you in the "home" if and when you get there.

[joepole]

Why has everyone immediately discounted the possibility that his daughter is, in fact, a total *****?

[Texasbelle]

I think your choice of word to describe her is a quite harsh. I do think that at this point though there is a good chance that she has probably become quite "coached" by her mother and her behavior is probably a direction reflection of 1: trying to please her mother 2: believing everything she has probably heard her mother say about her father.

It's the nature of the beast in the divorce cases such as these and it leaves the father in a horrible place.

[BrainSmashR]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

I do want to answer Brain's question about discipline. I don't really have to spank at my house. I have had to when my two oldest were younger but it wasn't often and was never a beating.

Alec's daughter is 11. Still young enough for spanking to be effective, except, she doesn't live with her Dad.

Discipline is just as Sheba says it should involve teaching. There should be a consequence to the negative behavior and also a good. With my twelve year old discipline often just simply involves a conversation and he gets it immediately.

If I understand the situation correctly, the daughter wasn't there to receive a planned phone call from her father. Now I don't claim to know the circumstances surrounding her missed appointment, but how is Alec to have a conversation with his if he can't even get in touch with her AND his ex may be a large contributing factor in the problem just like she is in your life.

He's just that kind of child. My eighteen year old has to lose the car, lose the cell phone, and be threatened with the death penalty before he learns. He's that kind of child. Their sister kind of falls more in the middle. We give a consequence to the negative and then reward them with an "Atta boy or girl" when they've done what we've asked. They are never 'bought' which is a problem I often see in homes today. Now for my step son there is no discipline. He can even come here and do something and there is no discipline. You can say something to him, but he doesn't care because at the end of the day he'll just be going home. He's smashed literally a $1,500 laptop we gave him for Christmas. His mother knew and helped hide the fact until we pressed really hard about the whereabouts of the laptop. Finally he told me what he did to it but has yet to apologize to his father, he was never disciplined by his mother and to me it happened at her house she should be the one, and he truly sees nothing wrong with what he did. It's hard at best to discipline a child who has two homes. It could be done though under good circumstances.

The key to disciplining your children is a calm head and logic.

So basically you've done nothing to this child for destroying a $1,500 computer?

You know there is a difference between spanking a child and whipping his ass. Maybe you guys should consider trying the latter......because despite your best intentions, what the child IS learning is that there aren't any significant consequences at Dad's house for anything he does. Consequently, I bet his behavior has gotten progressively worse, right? Started with breaking curfew, maybe talking back, now we're destroying $1,500 computers with no obvious signs of remorse or even an apology.

[sassy1]

And this Baldwin thing surprises people? C'mon, that family is not "normal" and therefore how can you expect rational behavior. Children of divorce have issues...yes children can be well adjusted from divorced families but often there is a lot of baggage that's being carried. Then factor in the parents who sometimes are more childish than the kids!

[Isaac-Saxxon]

Originally Posted by sassy1

And this Baldwin thing surprises people? C'mon, that family is not "normal" and therefore how can you expect rational behavior. Children of divorce have issues...yes children can be well adjusted from divorced families but often there is a lot of baggage that's being carried. Then factor in the parents who sometimes are more childish than the kids!

Sometimes ?? It is the parents that came first then the child and the parents owe it to there child to place the child first not their own personal gain. Money, power, fame and divorce It is called the American step family and it is passing it on to the next generation. I am not against divorce if it needs to be it needs to be but the parents at that point have even more responsibility for their child's well being. That starts with no mind games as Kim and Alec using the child as the pawn

[Texasbelle]

Originally Posted by Isaac-Saxxon

Sometimes ?? It is the parents that came first then the child and the parents owe it to there child to place the child first not their own personal gain. Money, power, fame and divorce It is called the American step family and it is passing it on to the next generation. I am not against divorce if it needs to be it needs to be but the parents at that point have even more responsibility for their child's well being. That starts with no mind games as Kim and Alec using the child as the pawn

There are situations where divorce is your only option. As in when a husband abuses a spouse, or say a husband cheats on a wife then certainly the wife has no option but to divorce. The responsibility for the children who has divorced parents becomes far greater at this point to ensure their mental and physical well being. To give them a great balance it does take both of the parents totally laying aside their differences and giving their best efforts at raising the children even though you are doing it with two different homes. It can be done but more often than not the parents forget, as in our case, to put the children first. My step son is the victim of one parent carrying the anger torch forever and letting it stand in the way of her son's well being. Also her mental baggage has now become his baggage and demons as well. Brain, he is not my child, I don't get the option of disciplining him. He would already have a sore butt that he would not be able to sit on for years for destroying a computer. This is one of the problems here that we face and probably Alec Baldwin as well. Discipline the child and all hell breaks lose with the other parent. The other parent does not agree with any kind of discipline so if you try to then your phone calls go unanswered for weeks on end. See how it goes?

This woman's logic Brain goes like this...she told me one time a few years ago that he was talking back to her. I told her that when my children talked back to me I put Tabasco on their tongues and made them hold it out for a minute. It only took my daughter one time to learn not to talk back, the middle child twice, and the youngest has never after watching the oldest two take the punishment. She called this "corporal punishment", stated she didn't believe in that kind of punishment, and her son better not ever be punished that way by me or ELSE! Well, he's never talked back to me because he knows better for one and I've told him I am not scared of the or ELSE.

I tell you all of this Brain because you need to understand or I'd like you to know what some of these people like Alec and my husband have to go through with the other parent and why perhaps they do lose their temper. Again, I make no excuses for him he was wrong, but I do understand his frustration.

[piemaker720]

The one thing I would like to know is why have they been battling over custody for 5 years. Good grief settle it. I agree at 12 she shouldn't be call a *****.

[BrainSmashR]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

There are situations where divorce is your only option. As in when a husband abuses a spouse, or say a husband cheats on a wife then certainly the wife has no option but to divorce. The responsibility for the children who has divorced parents becomes far greater at this point to ensure their mental and physical well being. To give them a great balance it does take both of the parents totally laying aside their differences and giving their best efforts at raising the children even though you are doing it with two different homes. It can be done but more often than not the parents forget, as in our case, to put the children first. My step son is the victim of one parent carrying the anger torch forever and letting it stand in the way of her son's well being. Also her mental baggage has now become his baggage and demons as well. Brain, he is not my child, I don't get the option of disciplining him. He would already have a sore butt that he would not be able to sit on for years for destroying a computer. This is one of the problems here that we face and probably Alec Baldwin as well. Discipline the child and all hell breaks lose with the other parent. The other parent does not agree with any kind of discipline so if you try to then your phone calls go unanswered for weeks on end. See how it goes?

Well that's really something you and your husband should discuss. I can only assume a $1500 gift came from both of you, and if you're expected to provide for the child then the child should be expected to obey you, or MADE to obey you as the case may be.

This woman's logic Brain goes like this...she told me one time a few years ago that he was talking back to her. I told her that when my children talked back to me I put Tabasco on their tongues and made them hold it out for a minute. It only took my daughter one time to learn not to talk back, the middle child twice, and the youngest has never after watching the oldest two take the punishment. She called this "corporal punishment", stated she didn't believe in that kind of punishment, and her son better not ever be punished that way by me or ELSE! Well, he's never talked back to me because he knows better for one and I've told him I am not scared of the or ELSE.

Again, that's between you and her. If you are expected to provide for the child then he should be expected to obey you regardless of you being his biological or step mother.

I tell you all of this Brain because you need to understand or I'd like you to know what some of these people like Alec and my husband have to go through with the other parent and why perhaps they do lose their temper. Again, I make no excuses for him he was wrong, but I do understand his frustration.

Ummm, I think you've misinterpreted my opinion of the matter. I got the asswhipping, the talking to, AND grounded. Alec's kid got of light and I'm ashamed that this story passes for news....