Funny Family stories: You got one!

[piemaker720]

I'll go first I guess.
My brother-in-law is a truck driver. One day my sister[ not his wife, another sister] wanted to ride with him. We all drove at times, even my kids because it was company on long hauls. Anyway my sister and him had been up the east coast, when he got back this way[ in mississippi] they called to see if we could meet them to pick my sister up because he was headed north. My mother, his wife, and me met them at a truck stop. When they arrived my sister got her things out of the truck and my brother-in-law started unloading boxes of oranges and lemons he had got. My mother ask him where he got the cases at, without thinking he told my mother that my sister had worked the rest area for the lemons and oranges and that was why she needed to go home. My mother didn't know he was joking, started chewing my sister out for it. He finally confessed he was joking.

[howela]

A week after Bing Crosby died there was a tribute to him on television. My wife walked into the room about half way through it as Bing was singing and said," Bing Crosby, I bet they filmed this before he died."
After a 5 second pause everyone laughed.

We still pick at her about it. It is a family catch phrase. If someone is on the TV for example JFK, we tell her...... "they filmed this before he died."

[Pocahontas]

Once when my daughter was little she loved playing with My Little Pony. The pony had this tail that you could wind up real tight and then let go and put the pony down and she would spin or something. Well my precocious little blonde cutie winds that tail up and let's it spin right into Mama's hair. Not only was it painful I had My Little Pony hanging from my scalp!! We had to carefully remove it then cut a little bit of hair. I wonder if those are still around??
Another time this same precious angel had a spoonful of peanut butter and had on her new dress that she liked to spin around in so it would flare out like Cinderella. Well she made a very fast rotation and the blob of peanut butter landed...guess where? In my hair again! I should've started wearing protective headgear after those two episodes. This is my child that is her father made over so I often wonder if these were mere coincidences??

[piemaker720]

Okay when I was 16 and dating I had 3 other sisters, 2 that were dating too. We were very close in age. The youngest girl was the one mother sent on dates with us because she would tell on us. But what mom didn't know she would tell us you do what I want or I'm going to make something up to tell mom. So anyway we all had dates and no one wanted to take the youngest. The youngest thinking we were going to get to leave without her went out to one of the boys car, opened the hood and pulled the spark plug wires off the coil so it would not crank. So to get even we all took her and tied her to a stop sign out by the road at 9:00 pm. Here she was tied to the stop sign yelling rape, neighbors looking out and no one there but her because we left. Mother had to go out and untie her. mean weren't we.

[Texasbelle]

My personal favorite that my brothers and I love to laugh over is about our mom. She passed away last year and this story has gotten us through some tears.

We lived out in the country at the end of a little dirt road and our father had barrels that he would burn the trash in. Every so often it would build up kind of high in it and he would have to haul it off. We'll it was getting close to that time, but my sweet momma still put some trash in it one morning after we all left and she lit it. She went inside to take her bath and get ready to go to work. After momma got out of the tub, she looked outside only to see the burning trash had fallen out of the barrel and was now catching the grass on fire around it. She ran outside in her robe (with nothing on beneath it). She got out to the fire and not having anything to put out the fire, took off her robe and started beating out the fire on the ground. Well well well just who happen to drive by at that time but the "well man". He was on his once a week trip down our road to check the oil well at the end. He got the eyeful of a lifetime. Our momma, butt naked, beating out a fire with her robe. She was mortified, but she got the fire. But to make matters worse, she kept wearing that darn robe with the little burn holes all in it. For years we'd buy her new robes but she kept wearing that one. My brothers, Momma, Daddy, and I laughed for years over that robe and her naked putting out that fire.

After she died last year, my aunt was going through her things and called me. She said, "I found the strangest thing. It was this robe in a box. It's green, rather old and full of all these little burn holes. Do you know what this is?" I laughed until I cried for hours. It's a strange thing to treasure but I treasure that robe!

[piemaker720]

That was a good one Belle, I can see her doing that even though I didn't know her.

Here's another:
My sister, the 3rd girl down out of 4 girls is a short, very busty girl. She worked for a glass plant some years ago. She worked on a conveyor line packing glasses in a box. The conveyor was even with her bust, so when the line backed up she had to reach across to hit a button to stop the conveyor. Well one day she reached over to hit the button and her boob got caught in the belt. She stopped the belt and they had to call maintence to come get her out. When they came and seen what was hung they were laughung so hard it took them awhile to get her unhung.

[Pocahontas]

Great stories girls!!! Belle I can just picture your naked Mama out in the country flapping that robe (and everything else around..lol)!

Pie there are alot of busty girls in my family too so I can appreciate that boob getting hung up then the embarrassment of having to have someone remove it.

[howela]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

We lived out in the country at the end of a little dirt road and our father had barrels that he would burn the trash in. .....only to see the burning trash had fallen out of the barrel and was now catching the grass on fire around it. She ran outside in her robe (with nothing on beneath it). Our momma, butt naked, beating out a fire with her robe. .....to treasure but I treasure that robe!

That is real life Norman Rockwell funny. I vote tbelle gets the funny story award.
God bless your mothers memory.

And by the way.... my deceased father-in-law was a well man in East Texas. He told some funny stories!

[Texasbelle]

Howela, where did your father in law live? I hope it wasn't him. Wouldn't that be a small world? One of the worst parts was we went to church at First Baptist Waskom with this man so she had to see him every Sunday and Wednesday!!!!!

[piemaker720]

My grand daughter was sick one time and my daughter and I took her to the ER. We left my grand son who was 2 years old with his daddy. His dad went out to get something out of his pickup. When he did my grandson shut the door, locked it and went to bed. His dad was left outside trying to figure out how to get back in. After an hour he remembered he had a spare key in his truck. He said he could look in the window and see my grandson in bed watchung tv, but he would not open the door.

[piemaker720]

This is about my grandson who is 3. We were forever having things missing, cell phones,shoes, etc. One day I was cleaning the floor and I noticed a floor vent had no air coming out. When I tried to look through the grate I could see something in there. When I took the grate off I found everything we were missing, cell phones, house shoes, toys, pencils. He had been storing them in his hiding place. Boys, gotta love them

[howela]

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

Howela, where did your father in law live? I hope it wasn't him. Wouldn't that be a small world? One of the worst parts was we went to church at First Baptist Waskom with this man so she had to see him every Sunday and Wednesday!!!!!

Originally from Oil City, he lived most of his life in Shreveport and worked for Scklar and Phillips Oil company. He worked well sites in east Texas but never told us about a nudist and a fire.... although he said he did catch two people fornicating in a well site shed. When he opened the door he said the girl started yelling at the guy," I tol' ya we'as gonna get ketched."

He retired in the late 80's and passed away in the late 90's.

[Texasbelle]

OH thank goodness it wasn't him. But how funny is that he caught those two????

[Pocahontas]

My brother has been sending me old photos lately and one in particular jarred my memory. My parents took my 3 siblings and I to Hawaii while we were in our teens. For some reason my dad didn't bring enough underwear along. He began washing them in the hotel room sink but then realized he didn't have a place to dry them. We had rented a station wagon so guess what Daddy did? Rolled the undies up in the top of the car window and we road around Honolulu with them flapping in the breeze. I have a photo of this but doubt he'd want me posting his face. Anyway Daddy is a very distinguished man BUT he had and still has a great sense of humor and knows how to embarrass us! I love that man!

[piemaker720]

Originally Posted by Pocahontas

My brother has been sending me old photos lately and one in particular jarred my memory. My parents took my 3 siblings and I to Hawaii while we were in our teens. For some reason my dad didn't bring enough underwear along. He began washing them in the hotel room sink but then realized he didn't have a place to dry them. We had rented a station wagon so guess what Daddy did? Rolled the undies up in the top of the car window and we road around Honolulu with them flapping in the breeze. I have a photo of this but doubt he'd want me posting his face. Anyway Daddy is a very distinguished man BUT he had and still has a great sense of humor and knows how to embarrass us! I love that man!