I'm voting for _______ for Shreveport Mayor, and here's why:

[SBCmetroguy]

Please vote for SBCmetroguy.

I'm a smooth talker who could make Jerry Jones sound like Stuttering John, I'm blacker than Ed Bradley, sexier than Liz Swaine ever thought of being, more knowledgeable than any of the no-name candidates (hint: Goeders, Ali, et al,) and I can relate to old people better than Vernon Adams. Anyone I'm leaving out? Arlena Acree... anyone? Well, obviously no one cares about her because no one spoke up.

And best of all, my striking good looks make Keith Hightower look like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

The time has come, Shreveport. Rise up and vote for the only candidate who cares about you personally... SBCmetroguy.